This dream I had, wasn't you. How sad.

I'm posting cos of this dream I had. I was going with with JN, and we're were quite a couple. I fetched her home and things kinda got messy there. I mean quite alot of things happened and I don't know how to put it. I just know it's very sweet. The feeling was great. I thought it was real. Till I woke up and found out it wasn't true.
Kinda glad at the same time, mixed feelings all come at a time. It just wasn't you. I haven't dreamt of you before. Only in the day I have thought before. The dreams just wouldn't come when I'm sleeping. Does this prove something? x(

Anyways, I'm leaving for Msia in another hour? Maybe.. Going to celebrate my grandma's birthday. :D But I can't watch Liverpool VS Singapore XI! Damn it.. D: I'm missing out on the once in a life time chance. LIVERPOOL! PLEASE COME BACK DX

Decision made up.

Made up my mind to post up the stuffs I've wrote. Please do not diss my piece of work, I'm not a pro at this.

Enjoy.
First time in my life I felt so helpless,
My head was spinning and I thought my eardrums just burst.
I really thought that this was it.
My life just ending without no kick.
I haven't seen you in awhile.
I thought I will never be able to see you down the aile.
Even if you were to walk it with another man,
I will smile to you and kisss your hand.
Wave goodbye and walk out that door,
Never ever able to sweep your feet off the floor.
Never will I get the chance to impress you,
And never will I get to be your beau.
I didn't want to die just yet,
I have many targets that I haven't met.
Those dreams that have yet to come true,
Which also include me and you.
Everytime I'm missing you,
All I can do is to write down how I feel
In the form of a poem or rap,
It's the only way I can interact
I stutter and mumber infront of you,
Because I feel so intimidated by you.
You're so pretty and all so perfect.
I'm just a junk and a piece of crap.
How can I be seen out with you.
It will only be a disgrace for you.
Even though I do look at other girl,
But you're the only one that makes my mind whirl and twirl.
I'm ending here with so much sorrow,
Only for you to guess and for me to know.

-eamon

Turning back to the old me.

Yes, mind made up. Emo it is. Emo in school, emo at home, emo outside. I'm gonna be emo.
No more smiley me, no more happy me. All that is dead and gone. I've always been alone. Thinking back, yes I have been. Never have I felt accompanied. Never have I felt mroe happy than the days when Awin Wong was my best friend. Those young days, gone and never able to be retrived. How I wish my life is a movie. I will be able to look back and laugh. Or just sit back and cry. XuanDa came into my life. He took over Awin Wong. No, I'm not gay. XuanDa is a very kind man. He's treated me as a brother. Very good brother. We cover each others' backs. Thanks brother.

Being very thankful is what I should do. Emo is what I'm becoming. So next time you see me. I'll be in my black shirt, black skinnies, black high cut shoe, black cap, black bag, black psp, black phone and no smile. Come say hi and be shunned like a fly. I'll never look back here and laugh like a mad little man. Bye bitches

Reflection time

Eamon have been dumb his whole life. 17 years of living, 10 years of learning. Friends come and friends go. I don't have many real friends, only alot of mother fuckers who claim to be my friend. They used me when they needed me , threw me away and forgets about me when they didn't need me. I found out that poly life is getting worst. As the days pass, the masks on their faces shed and all is left is ugly scars that will never be healed. I am trying to be a good friend, be there when they need a helping hand. But who ever gave me one when I was in deep waters. I was drowning and they looked on at me, walking away without hesitation. I guess I must learn to be mean in order to survive in this world.
This cruel sick joke was never meant to be revealed, until the recent days then I found out it was true. I've been backstabbed so many times, wounds healed on other scars . This is becoming a routine to me. Every new friend I make, I take the first step to step back. Watching if something is lurking in the shadows trying to assasinate me. I'm cautious. But never too cautious. Because it's always not enough to protect myself. The person I am now is what they've turned me into. I finally found the answer Ms Chua once asked me. What have happened in the past that made you what you are today. I can be assured that it wasn't family. It was you guys. Thanks alot for changing me. Now it's time for revenge and it's gonna be sweet.

Back to blogging

Past few days was .. Average..
Just that went to gym with Nainai, Keith and Yankai. Worked up for an hour or so and went to have Aston.. Home after that. My pacs are visible now!! :D
Then Saturday and Sunday stayed home. Didn't felt like heading out.. Last minute rushing of assignment yesterday night.. Test today.. And even tho I didn't study for it.. I think I can manage it. Thanks to some tutorial by Zul yesterday on msn..
And I'm gonna miss out on the Liverpool vs Singapore match D: Please .. Liverpool. Come back to Singapore again!! D:D:D: Am heading to Malaysia on that day.. And tickets are sold out .. D:
Nothing much.. Oh and.. People should keep their useless comments to themselves.. Seriously, it ain't helping you gain fame nor will it help you make more friends. Ok.. You're double faced.. We have to agree to that. So people might not see your ugly side. Which I personally feel .. Every side of yours is ugly. Seriously.. Shut the fuck up.. No one would think you're mute if you don't speak for one day.. Or will they? They might be wondering what caught your tongue.. Hmmm :/

Anyways.. Forget about those faggots.. I promise I will.. And I will make them pay if they make me mad.. Don't come touch me if I didn't touch you. So back off .. Punk ass wannabes.

Wow

My computer survived a flood. Yup, it was drowned with water few hours ago.
I was playing CS:S and when I lost, i gestured my hand and it toppled a bottle of water. And the water, obviously was not capped well, and the water poured out onto my laptop. I panicked and picked up the bottle and turned off the laptop immediately.. Plucked out all the cables and poured all the water out onto the floor. It was alot, around a whole cup. Then wiped it with a piece of tissue. Then took it and hair dry it.. About 15mins.. Then tried.. It was dead. I gave up after trying for 15mins.. Then I tried to fix my dead CPU for about half an hour.. Found out the graphic card was spoilt.. So went down and watched TV. Was damn sad.. Then after like 2hours.. Came up and tried. IT'S A MIRACLE. My laptop was revived. Luckily the water didn't short my laptop. :D
I am damn lucky. I learned a lesson or 2. Never leave a bottle by the side of my laptop. And CPU is much better than a laptop. :)
Shall blog about previous days tomorrow. BYE

Finally

Wanted to blog yesterday, but internet somehow had problem. Couldn't get into blogger or hotmail. So didn't blog..
Anyways, wrote poems/raps and got ratings from people Not bad for starter.. That's what they said..
Then Alice treated Pizza for dinner.Guess what.. I ate a whole Regular Pizza, which is 6 slices of pizzas, and 3 spicy drumlets.. It's alot .. For me. So I thought I gained weight and immediately went on the weighting scale.. Only 46kg.. Gained 1kg.. And when I woke up today.. I felt hungry and wanted to puke.. I thought I ate quite alot yesterday.. So apparently 6 slices of pizzas aint enough.. So I got back from school today.. Got onto the weighing scale.. Just what. 50KG!! Wooo!! Gained alot ! Damn happy. But face was kinda plump...
Wanted to blog about so much.. But now.. Forgot .. Nvm

Tired and very frustrated

Lacking sleep. I was so tired in school today that I almost fell down the stairs. I felt giddy, couldn't walk straight. Thought I was having fever, but passed the school check thing.. Whatever. I'm very tired now. Intending to skip school tomorrow.. But there's presentation.. Group work.. Can't skip. __
I really am sick. I really am tired. When will I fall on my bed and not wake up.

Malaysia Trip.

Yup, "blogging" in Malaysia. I'm just typing into the notepad and copy,paste the whole thing to put it as my daily update. Hmm.. Didn't slept a wink last night. Order mac breakfast.. Then went out at 6 in the morning. Watched some parts of 8mile again, on the car.. Then slept for the rest of the journey. Was mF tired.. Neck was stiff when I woke up.. Now currently at Dad's parents' house.. It's only 10:41am.. And it's damn boring over here. No internet... Astro for cable.. No thank you.When we drove pass some blocks in the morning. Eyes laid upon that, oh so familiar walkway. Was reminiscing the days.. For me to keep them as memories.. Yes, just memories.. Nostalgic memories.. D: Till here. There's a wedding dinner in the night. Boring....

So, I'm back from the wedding. Guess what.. It's one of the worst wedding dinner I've ever attended. The "crowd" sucks.. Then now, crashing in at a 3star hotel.. Not bad.. But quite small and no internet.. Quite tired but the room only have 2beds. 1queen size, the other is single size. Sis and mom sleeping on the queen size, dad sleeping on the single size..Alice and I not intending to sleep. But I think I will sleep on this comfy couch I'm on now. :)

Finally back in Singapore. Went out in the morning just now with relatives. Was fun. Especially with the little cousin. Haha.. She kept on coming to me and grab my fingers, step on my feet and pull my shirt. Damn cute.. Like her alot. :D Main reason is that she doesn't have parents. Sad.. Then shopped awhile.. Ate lunch and went back to granny's house. Stayed there for awhile and went home. Trip was very long.. Traffic jam.. Then went home to put our things and went out to have dinner. Home finally and finished project in time. I think? School tomorrow.. Tired. Shall bathe and sleep. Bye..

Mixed feelings. Insecurity eating me alive.

Leaving soon..

I'm leaving for Malaysia like in... 5 hours time. Don't know whose son is getting married. I don't really know my relatives in Malaysia well.. Not gonna sleep now.. Gotta sweep the floor and mop it too.. Kinda working for my mom. Lol.

School today was alright. But CKT's lab test suck big time. Didn't do well for it. But managed a pass. Skipped maths lecture as usual. But had to stay back to discuss some project thing with Jason and Yongquan. I fucking hate the grouping. Wanted to change but the teacher didn't allow it. So, I'm stucked with them 2.. Gotta do some shit and send it to them by Sunday . -.- __

Alright.. So I got home and went straight to bed.. Almost... Slept for a near 3 hours.. Still, I'm tired..

BYE
I'm leaving in a few hours time. Tho it may sound dramatic. But I'm gonna miss you big time. When I was in school today. The thought of you crossed my mind, multiple times to be exact. I still can't get over you. No matter how pretty the babes are in school. I never fail to think of you when I look at them. I felt nervous when I sent you home that day. But glad at the same time when you smiled to me and waved goodbye, How I wish I can do that everyday. And not part with you.. I guess you'll never know, how much you mean to me. .

My pleasure..

School was fiinnneee.... Know why? I passed my lab test! Did it all by myself! Maybe not all. But 15/20 was done by myself. I finally understand the theory of the practical.. So simple. :D . I learnt a lesson during a test and I even taught people how to do! So proud of ma self. :)

After school, went home immediately.. Ate noodles and fell asleep. Woke up and swept the floor before getting ready to go out.. Showered, and changed. Met Linghui and Jiamin at DTE. Shumei, Ernest and his gf came later.. Watched Drag Me To Hell. And I hate that show! Scare the fuck outta me. I hate the parts when the bitch scream and the theatre goes BOOM!. So scary :X..

After movie.. Met Xuanda movie. Then walked around and met Yiling and her bf.. Went to eat at the taiwan shop.. Nice.. But the workers are sickos.. tickos.. mf cheapos.. Then went walked around after that. Apparently.. They like to walk around and stand in the middle of nowhere and chat.. Lol.. Then saw Belle. Wow.. :O So shocked to see her.. Then Xd chatted with her while I just stood there like an idiot. Then went home.. Again.. They stood in the middle of nowhere and chatted about .. who knows what thing.. Then finally went separate ways .. Fetched her home.. I know.. :/ I don't know what I'm doing.. Then home after that.

Oh yes.. Saw Jane at central bus stop when Leon and I were going to school. Then took same bus as her.. Lol! Saw three of the girls I had crush on.. Wow. I'm damn tired now. Gotta go. Bye