Dedicated to Dad.

It was my dad's birthday on 28/09/2009. No celebrations as usual.
But this year things were worse. I only saw him at night. And he came home, went to his room and stayed in there. Adults conflicts . So didn't bothered much. Dinner was settled with take-aways. He didn't ate anything.
Dad, you're 50 ++, 54? this year. You ain't young anymore. You need to take better care of your health. You must cut down the intake of alcohol and smoking of cigarettes. You've had an operation before. And your health is not in tip top form. Please take good care . We want you by our side for a very long time.
I know work very hard. Carrying goods at your age is not easy. But you proved to me that you are as strong as a bull when I went to work with you that day. I will work harder in my studies and earned few ks a month to take care of you and mom. Do believe in me as I will prove to you in my upcoming exams. I will strive hard for you.
I love you dad.

Smacked right in the face by cruel reality.

I just saw something that pricked my heart. So deep into my heart, it is bleeding as I'm typing now. I also believed in perseverance. But now, I don't believe in nothing. Why can't I find happiness. Must I really wait so long for my first relationship? It really is getting on my nerves. I can't help but see the truth. Know the truth and get hurt so badly. If I have a partner to share my daily ups and downs, it would be nice. But it seems like I won't get there in another year or 2. Tear well in me have dried up, by myself.
Enduring the emotions and holding back tears. Holding them back so much that they've become pesperation. By exercising, the time freezes just a second for me to be myself. My thoughts don't go haywire. But right now , I'm thinking alot. Flashbacks just keeps playing. So many of them, flashing by me. Sweet and bitter memories. But at that moment , just minutes ago, everything came crashing down.
People say, seeing is believing. I saw and I believed. Truth unfold, feelings let go. I can't hold onto that dream anymore. It's time I let it go. Let her go and wish her well, to see her down the aile is a dream I never hope to unveil.
I really wish I can just go back maybe 4 years back. To look carefully. To choose wisely. To be braver and go for her. Then, maybe the one sweet talking with her could be me. Sadly, fairy tales don't happen in real life. Time to stop those kiddish act and march forward for a brighter future.

20 days ago, I last posted here.
I'm gonna post here once again.
Life's been hectic. Exam was over quite some time ago. But I fail one module. So I had to retake it. Took time to check out OleBB for some revisions. Did lots of revision on my own and am pretty confident of passing the supp paper.
Sis's friend intro-ed a job for her. I was chosen to work as a promoter along with Christopher. Worked for Singtel at Ngee Ann City :: Civic Plaza. It was a blast. It was an event held by Singtel and Celebrities were invited over to promote the phone. Saw Jean Danker, Dawn Yeoh and Jesseca Liu. I even saw Justin Ang from Muttons To Midnight. It was hell lotta fun. Made friends with the part-timers. The experience is unforgettable. We gave out flyers for all 3 days. And babes we saw.. Many of them walking the street of Orchard. And I even took a picture with Dawn Yeoh. She's just an angel.
I've had fun working there. Really hope for a 2nd experience. (:
It's hard to express how I feel. And I found my lost lost buddy. Awin Wong Yee Teck. But sadly, he's forgotten all about me. He's become a gangster now. I'm really disappointed that the fact that we were best buds during the Primary days. I even dreamt that we fought recently, just the night after I found his Facebook profile. Things change when people change. Time flies and memories left behind. ):

Saturday, helped dad work.
Realised how tough his job is. Really very tiring. The next day, arms were feeling sore. Earned around 450$ for dad that day. He gave me $60, but I only took $20. I think he really appreciated our help. Christopher went too. We moved 2 houses, and delivered a buffet. (:

Sunday just slacked at home.

Then Monday came and it was teachers' day celebration for Secondary Schools. Went back to school. In school, many ex 4e3 students didn't go.. But after that, we went to Ehub to eat and wanted to watch movie. Many came and in total. 13 of us went to watch movie and Tampines. Had much fun (: Thanks for the great day.

Then went to Ubin to fish yesterday. It was really really very fun. Went in the morning. Keith and I caught nothing for the day. But Norris and Panzi got lots of fishes. Rained and rained. But we still fished. We fished in the drizzle for like an hour . So much fun. Really wish we can do it everyday. The time got the better of us. Packed up and cycled back to the bike shop. Ate at a shop there. Really tasty. Yankai treated us. Thanks. Then went home after that.

Suddenly feel very emo. I wish I can know what you're thinking. So I wouldn't get into so much confusion. I'm tired and I'm bored.